


The tale of a nutty poet

by Pan_2000



Series: Warrior's Way [9]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Family Drama, Gen, Jabs at bad writing, Japan, Japanese Mythology & Folklore, Touken Ranbu References, Yôkai
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-11
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:48:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,717
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28012698
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pan_2000/pseuds/Pan_2000
Summary: While in a coma from her battle with a Vampire Lord, the Nutty Poet remembers an adventure of hers, one that she had to take alone.
Relationships: Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Series: Warrior's Way [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1477178
Comments: 26
Kudos: 4





	1. Hate leads to suffering

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Ki_no_Shirayuki](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ki_no_Shirayuki/gifts).



> The Nutty Poet. I would like to talk a little about her. She is based on a reader, who is actually better known for her badfic riffs. Which are actually very witty! 
> 
> Recently, her sister joined her and sporked an utterly ridiculous fic. In the end, she joked it turned her into a monster from all the rage and the main riffer tried to find a cure.
> 
> That can actually be its own fanfiction. And what better way to have a flashback when the Poet got taken out of the final fight, but did not die?
> 
> Also, this is between Japan arc and USA arc, or, by antagonists, between Takara and Nessie.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Nutty Poet embarks in a mission, one that is really personal for her. One involving her own sister.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yuki, thanks for all the support in the Japan arc. And introducing me to Sues to slaughter. 
> 
> All I will say is that I do not break promises!

In an isolated house in Japan, close to Osaka, a girl was watching the news. 

"The sleazy, vulgar, immoral terrorist, known as the Nutty Poet, is now free to attack couples formed by true love, and torment people for daring to be virtuous. And, of course, the people who caused that were the destructive organization known as Stormwolf, as well as the obsessed child known as Mori Ranmaru."

"Yes! She is free! You go, sister!"

Al Astor kept rambling, but the girl was way too excited. Her big sister told her to stay safe, and she only didn't risk her life because her probable arrest and death would upset the Poet a lot. 

"I will be waiting for you to come back for me, sister. Or my name is not Star Destiny." She chose it for herself. 

She was also a short brunette, like her sister, and very loyal to her. Her abilities, though, were different. Instead of a paintbrush which could bring things to life and limited control over snow and ice, she could imbue existing objects with light and use shurikens.

That was until one day she went for her first Sue herself. And she saw... a scene that couldn't make sense. One of her favorite characters was using a Sue like an umbrella, threw her into a trash can and even using her as a parachute. Among more violent things. And she loved him for it.

Star Destiny did the mistake of trying to take this seriously. It didn't just drain brain cells, it made her so angry she actually turned into a Yokai. 

Usually the Onryoki are made from the wrath of many people, which is why they fight like a mindless horde in one body, however, she managed to get close to become one by herself, having been driven mad by that scene's bullshittery. 

Due to being only one person, she was slightly weaker, smaller and more sane than the average Onryoki, but that doesn't say a lot. 

A few days later, the Nutty Poet and three friends of hers had returned from an important mission. Some filth named Takara was altering history and abusing its protectors, and the Poet helped slay her. Though she wished she dealt the final blow herself, she was still happy to learn she was finished by the spear she mistreated the most.

One of those friends was the legendary Black Widow, who separated from the group.

The next day, the Poet learned that a new Yokai attacked Osaka, close to her own home she shared with her sister. She spoke to the leaders of the organization she was in.

"I am sorry, it's personal. I have to go by myself."

"We will do this together."

"No. You have all been through a lot. It's personal. I must go. It's just a monster. If it's just a big brute, I can handle it. And I must handle it, because it's close to my home. I have a little sister. And she is in danger.

I want to save her myself."

"Can we help with the transport?" 

"No." She painted a portal to the ground. Once she finished, she jumped in and closed the portal before her friends could follow her.

One of the leaders, a Native American with black hair, sighed. "I hope she does not get killed."

The Poet guided herself to the place she knew more than anyone and anywhere. Her own house. To her horror, she found her house smashed.

"This is not a job of a human. Sister? Star Destiny?" 

No response. 

"SISTER? DAMN IT! WHERE ARE YOU? 

ARE YOU ALRIGHT?" 

Still no response. "I hope the monster did not take her. Because, even if said monster belongs to one of the Nine Big Heads of the Yokai, I am going to kill it and set its guts on fire."

She looked everywhere, screaming in the top of her lungs. But she was nowhere to be found. 

"Damn it! At least I don't see her body, but I can't find her anywhere."

She rushed to Osaka, painting a jetpack to get her there faster. She had no time or space to paint any vehicle. And she found the beast rather quickly, smashing buildings with its bare hands. 

It looked close to an Onryoki, except it was yellow, not red, had one horn and black hair instead of white. 

Thinking this creature took her sister, the Poet did not waste time announcing her presence. She had also painted explosive shurikens, which she used now, and they managed to strike home. The monster roared in pain and lost part of its back, but responded with a beam of plasma from its mouth that nearly hit the Nutty Poet.

The Poet had a too small frame to use heavy weaponry on air, so she landed on the ground and saw the big Yokai smash a building with its bare fists. 

She had to stop this rampage. She drew the bazooka she always wanted to use on big monsters. And fired a rocket, damaging the beast severely, but some buildings as well.

"Damn it! I nearly killed civilians. Let's switch to another weapon." 

She raised an ice wall in front of her and painted a shotgun. As the Yokai charged at her, it struck the wall, which stopped its assault for enough time for the shotgun to be ready and shoot its face.

It growled again and fired plasma shurikens, killing a few civilians who tried to flee and forcing the Poet to turn tail.

"Damn, I know this attack... this is similar to my sister's strongest skill, but even more destructive. It's also not common among the Yokai. This is not an ordinary enemy. I will lead it away from the city."

After running away, making sure the creature does not lose her and dodging shurikens along the way, she managed to get out of the city and create an ice wall behind the beast. However, it caused enough destruction in its way to ruin families.

The Poet used her bazooka once more. 

"You wretched Yokai! What have you done to my sister? You will pay for her and innocent bystanders. What have you done to Star Destiny?" 

This stopped the monster in its tracks. It managed to utter three words, using its remaining sanity. 

"I... STAR... DESTINY!"

"No... no... this can't be true..." 

She knew beasts of this type aren't conscious enough to lie. The plasma shurikens did create this suspicion before. 

Her anger was now replaced by fear and pity. She no longer wanted to kill that beast, not her own family.

She retreated, knowing Star Destiny is out of the city. But this still did not stop her from crying. This was worse than death. A Sue must have done that. The nerve of those Sues! But revenge could wait.

She promised to Amaterasu, she would find a way to save her sister and any civilians she might threaten.


	2. Quest for a cure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Nutty Poet, devastated by what happened to her sister, tries her best to find a cure. In her way, she will encounter some obstacles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter includes a lot of Yokai and Japanese folklore. Though it has a few non-Japanese elements, they are insignificant.

The Poet had never felt so awful. 

She faced imprisonment with dignity, she was pissed at the warping of history for selfish reasons, but that was waaaay too far.

Her _own sister_ got something worse than death.

There must be a way to reverse this! Yokai usually cannot be cured, heck, some are born or revived as Yokai, but the Poet does not care. She wants her sister back, and she is not going to let her harm others or kill her, the latter not even as a form of mercy. 

"Damn it! If there is any benevolent spirit, I ask you to help my sister! I need help! Any help!"

A few tears drop across her cheeks. "I am going to do anything, sister. All I need is guidance. Before any more innocents die."

Until her prayers are answered, she decides to try and handle this herself. She is tempted to call Stormwolf, the team she is in. They will care and have some capable fighters. However, they had already fought so many enemies. They need a break.

Plus, if she doesn't tell them the truth? Only she has an emotional connection to Star Destiny, she is afraid the others might kill her. And even if she tells them, what if they hold back too much and get hurt, making the Poet having to choose between friends and family? 

This is too personal, she needs only a guide. And a way to cure her sister. 

She decides to look out for Yokai nests. Maybe they know a way. Or maybe not. Some Yokai aren't even hostile.

Ten minutes of walking later, the Poet finds out one of the nests. Two Enki are talking to each other.

"Infighting is the best thing your enemies can do to you. Now, with that human supermacist, Ranmaru, out of the way, we don't have to worry about Nobunaga or his fanatics."

"Good thing, Nobunaga could make us Yokai bow to his will. Except the Nine Heads, our powerful, wise lords. I suppose we should be thankful to Stormwolf for making us even more powerful than before."

"Though they did kill the Two Tormentors..."

"In the long run, they helped us more."

**The Poet's POV**

I was afraid of this. I knew defeating just Ranmaru was a bad idea! I only helped because if he wasn't stopped, Nobunaga would have been brought back and cause a full-scale war at worst.

Sadly, the gang also is not ready to face the Nine Big Heads. For example, Shuten Doji. I am willing to face him while he is sober, if it means saving my sister. But he is way beyond me even drunk! And legends say he gets drunk a lot, but that does not help! 

Well, at least I can do a little sabotage and possibly extract some information about curing my sister. I believe there is some hope. There must be.

I hope they don't see me as I paint a bazooka and a tranquilizer. I know the Yokai don't take captives. They mostly kill when they are hungry. 

The guards are still talking. These Enki don't seem to like humans. I will eavesdrop a bit more. 

"You know, the Great One was right to form an alliance with us. While I was a mere monkey, humans forced me to dance for the pleasure of the public. Now we have a chance to get revenge on all these disgusting creatures." 

"I agree. Once, I was starved to near-death because of then. Idiot humans, they believe they know everything about spirits, that they are some sort of Master Race. That they are our evolution. They aren't nearly as wise as they think they are."

While some humans are arrogant, and I actually feel bad about these two monkeys, I don't believe killing all humans is the answer. They are going too far and must be stopped.

I hope Amaterasu sees this as an act of mercy. 

I fire my bazooka and blow them both up, making a lot of Yokai alerted. I don't think I can hide for much longer. Very well. Let's blow these demons up.

**Third Person POV**

The Poet manages to hide for a little longer due to her small frame, but is spotted by an Ice Oni-Bi. Some Ice Oni-Bi spit small snowballs at her, but Poet simply raises an ice wall that block all of them effortlessly. The wall also stands when a Bone Samurai fires an arrow at her.

However, a Karakasa fires a hail of needles at the bespectacled girl from her left, and it's too fast for her to turn and raise an ice wall to block all of them. She still raises it, but two of the first needles hit her and pierce her skin, making her wince in pain.

She draws a Naginata on a wall and then uses it to fend off incoming Oni-Bi and the Karakasa, who could not break through the walls and had to attack from the exposed side. She manages to defeat them one by one, even two at once.

Then she uses her bazooka to obliterate multiple Bone Samurai before they get close to her. However she seathes it and uses her Naginata when she sees Oni-Bi approaching. 

They charge at great speeds, but are taken out in a few swings of the halberd-like sword. The Poet had to inform most of her allies who were not from Japan that a Naginata was actually a sword. 

She goes deeper in the Yokai nest, fighting some Oni-On, which are basically sentient onions which are also predators. They aren't too powerful for the Naginata, but one manages to throw a projectile which makes the Poet cry uncontrollably. Then a second one rolls towards her and manages to hit her. She recovers and slashes both onions. After the last Oni-On drops dead, a lone Poison Oni-Bi attacks. The Poet blocks the small bolt of poison coming at her with an ice wall, paints a pistol, and as the Oni-Bi starts ramming the wall, the Poet uses both hands to shoot through her spell and the Yokai. 

"Bullseye."

Going deeper and deeper into the nest, the girl uses her gun to fend off zombies and One-Eyed Imps in corridors before they can get her. One thing she hated about corridors is that her favorite weapons are the Naginata and the bazooka. One thing she loved was that she could paint on the walls easily. 

She runs out of bullets, but managed to kill all lesser Yokai coming at her. She paints a Wakizashi and a shield and moves forward. 

Her path is blocked by a Karakasa, which fires a barrage of needles. With her shield already drawn and equipped, the Poet parries all the shots, approaches the living umbrella and slashes it a few times. 

She reaches a crossroad and spots Gaki coming from all three sides. She goes backwards, creates an ice wall and draws her bazooka. She waits for the wall to fall. It takes twenty seconds, as the Gaki are very savage. 

And when the wall breaks, the Poet fires a rocket. The Gaki are blown up, but the survivors do not retreat. They don't know anything but hunger. It takes three rockets for all the Gaki to drop dead.

The Poet switches to the tranquilizer she painted eariler and uses it against some Enki guards and Yokai Spearmen. Even a Yokai Musketeer tries to stand up to the Poet, but gets tranquilized.

The Nutty Poet is finally in the heart of the nest. There must be the leader, and she might also find some information about how to cure her sister. 

To her surprise, she finds another woman, who has already seduced the four Yoki there, making them fall in love with her.

She approaches the woman.

"Hello there."

"Hi! As you can see, I am with four kawaii muscular males! What do you want?" 

"Who are you?" 

"I am a discipline of Abe No Seimei! I have been born by a Yokai father and a human mother. At school, everyone bullied me for daring to be a half-Yokai and having differet eye color in each eye!" 

"It's disciple."

"How dare you bully me! I am senstive y' know! Come on, guys, don't just stand there, teach her a leson!"

The four Yoki, blindly enamored with the disciple of Seimei, get up and attack the Poet. She raises an ice wall, but a single, big fireball by a Yoki melts it and a second fireball hits the woman.

The Poet fires tranquilizer darts, but it takes three to even slow down one of these Yoki. "Damn, and I was feeling sorry for you!"

A Yoki reaches her and throws a hard right cross, but the Poet ducks and with the Wakizashi performs multiple stabs at the big Yokai. She even breaks his horn after she dodges a headbutt. Then she performs multiple slashes with the Wakizashi and rams him with her shield. 

However, her sword breaks in the Yoki's chest, killing him, while the shield is struck by a big fireball and then punched through by anothet Yoki. 

"Oh, now you have done it!" The Poet runs in a safe distance, equips the bazooka and, after dodging one more fireball, retaliates with rockets. It takes a rocket for each Yoki. Which makes the disciple throw a fit.

"My lovers... I plannned a fivesome today... and you killed them. Now where can I find new males?" And she starts crying. 

The Poet glares at her. "You only valued them for sex?" 

"Hey, that's what men are for!"

The Poet fires rockets at her, but the disciple is too fast, gets close and lands a hard cross to her left cheek, drawing blood and knocking the girl backwards. 

The Nutty Poet equips the Naginata and unleashes a flurry of rapid swings, but the other girl is too fast and gets behind her. 

"Now you will see what happens when you mess with the discipline of Seimei! FOX SNEAK STRIKE!"

If not for that little monologue, the attack would connect and do severe damage, and due to the Poet's injuries from the Yoki, probably kill her. But the Poet exploits it, jumps away from the attack and with a skillful swing strikes her adversary in the back.

"You are not a disciple of Seimei. You are another Mary Sue. You brainwashed four Yoki into loving you! I killed them in self-defense, but you? You treated them worse than even me!" 

"How dare you insult me, you mocker!"

The Sue can't brainwash the Poet because she was a woman. The Sue creates a blade made out of water and attacks the Poet, who blocks with her Naginata. The Water Blade is stronger, but the Japanese sword has bigger range, and the Poet exploits this by making a move that breaks the enemy's guard but leaves her exposed in the right range. The Sue gets stabbed.

"Why me? Why live is so hard to me? I just want people to love me!"

"And you will force them?"

The Poet and the disciple dash at each other. And their attacks strike home! 

Star Destiny's sister gets cut in the right side of her torso, nearly losing a rib. Thankfully, it did not break. The Sue, on the other hand, gets struck by the entire blade of the Naginata and cut in half.

"Shame my friends aren't there to see me. Then again, they could steal this kill. Fucking Sues, enslaving others for their own gain."

However, because she killed the Sue, even though she has no regrets for the deed, she still has no information about the cure. After destroying the heart of the nest, making sure to lessen the threat of the Yokai, she runs outside. 

Where a man with long, blue hair appears. Around him; a yellow heavenly glow.

The Nutty Poet realizes the man is a spirit and fallsnon her knees. "Greetings, stranger. Who are you?" 

The man turns into a fox, then in his regular form again. "I am Abe no Seimei. As a human, I lived a long life helping those in need. Because of my longevity, people theorized I was like a fox.

They weren't completely right then. However, in the Spirit World, after my death finally came, I was rewarded for everything I had done to others with having the power of the fox. You see, not everyone has elemental powers. Some have animalistic ones, or even something completely different.

I believe what you seek is a cure for your sister. You screamed about that to the heavens. While you are a little too violent with the Yokai, I saw you had a noble cause and your means weren't too cruel.

Also, did you kill the Sue pretending to be my disciple?"

"Yes, I did, Seimei. She defiled your name and forced some Yokai to love her!"

"While I never approved of what she did and never found her worthy, I don't believe that child deserved to be murdered. I have seen a flaw in you and all your friends. You have killed at least one enemy."

"I was defending myself. She sent the lovestruck Yoki she hypnotized to kill me and I couldn't tranquilize them!" 

"Or cure them. Though, in your defense, once someone becomes a full Yokai, they will stay Yokai."

"Is there any cure? Seimei, if you are indeed so great, you will help any good deed, not just those with pure hearts!" 

"That's true. And I do intend to help you, I just give some advise. Tell me, did your sister retain part of her humanity?" 

"Yes. She could not become a full Onryoki all by herself. She could say her name, and had just one horn."

"Good. There is some extremely rare magic powder that can make a human turning Yokai themselves again... but it's only in one place. Mount Oe."

"The one where Shuten Doji is buried in the legends..."

"Buried? He is alive and well. And is also not kind to strangers. He can kill a person with his hair and has tons of guards. Brute force might have helped you this far, but Shuten Doji is not someone you can just power through. He doesn't fear physical attacks or magic."

"However, he does get drunk a lot..."

"Correct! It's one of his few weaknesses. However, even drunk, he is still no ordinary Oni. Please be careful." 

"I will, Seimei!"

After thirty minutes of resting, as she was too weary because of the fight, she creates a portal to get some food. She ends up in a restaurant and orders Soba. 

Meanwhile, in Mount Oe, four Yokai Elites are playing Tenshō Karuta. "Full house of knights with knaves. Bring me your rations."

"You know, it's a good thing Lord Shuten isn't like Tokugawa. For all the talk about how he is a hero, he did a lot of sins, like Tokichiro. Yet everyone acts as Nobunaga, who did a lot of their job and made them what they were, was the only monster and a great demon. I think our Lord could take him if he is sober."

"Maybe in one punch. And not because Oda was weak, he wasn't."

"Wanna do another round of cards? The losers make sake for the boss!"

"Sure? Yes, it's work, but Shuten Doji loves anyone who makes him a drink!"

Thirty minutes later, the Nutty Poet reaches the mountain. It is tall and hard to climb, plus heavily guarded. 

"Fuck, I am not making this climb in one piece."

So, she makes sure she stays hidden, and draws a portal. "I hate how portals take twenty minutes to be fully functional. But this climb will take me fourty minutes at best. 

Fifteen minutes of drawing later, a Yokai Archer spots her. He informs the rest. "What is this woman doing? She is painting something on the ground, but why?" 

"This is the fabled Nutty Poet. The one who escaped our forces a lot of times with her paintbrush until she was captured. When the demons of the West sent their champion to stop the man who later fought the reincarnation of Lord Ranmaru, the Poet saved his life from the champion." 

"And she also managed to beat an entire dojo full of Yokai single-handedly. Her paintbrush can make paintings come to life."

"She seems to be painting a portal. Should I shoot her?" 

"Aim for the head." 

The Yokai Archer who informed the others fires an arrow at the Poet, but the girl raises an ice wall just tall enough to stop the arrow. "Nice try" she thinks "but I am always seeing if you will spot me."

She hopes they try to climb down the mountain and charge at her, but they are the guards of one of the Nine Big Heads of Japan. An archer takes a flaming arrow and aims at the ice wall. 

The Poet makes a second wall, knowing the first will melt, and paints a bazooka. "Shit, I have to delay the portal in order to save my own life." 

Of course the second ice wall also melts, because the Yokai keep firing flame arrows, but it gave the Poet time to fire a rocket at their direction, causing the earth to shake under the feet of the archers. 

As the avalanche makes the Yokai lose their balance, forcing them to also lose the advantage in position, the Poet makes her thickest wall of ice, thick enough to withstand rocks. 

She thanked Amaterasu these were not volcanic rocks, as the heat could still be trouble for any ice. However, she has still to focus on making that portal, for she only incapacitated a few archers. There are still a lot of One-Eyed Oni and Yokai Archers on the mountain, and she does not plan to climb through all of them. 

No, no, she keeps painting the portal, knowing the archers and their nearby allies are taken out. When she finishes the portal, she steps in. And she goes through Limbo and towards the entrance of Shuten Doji's palace. 

Unfortunately for her, one of the palace guards has heard the avalance and everyone is cautious.

The first two guards go down by the Poet's tranquilizer. She takes her paintbrush and draws a bottle full of sake on the wall. It's ordinary sake, like the actual ones. 

"If I can't beat Shuten Doji..."

She approaches the next patrol. Six One-Eyed Oni.

"I am bringing a bottle of sake for Lord Doji."

The six Oni might not be able to speak, but they are more than smart enough not to trust a human with their lord's most known bad habit. And they attack with their fists, but the Poet dodges them and stays far away. She thinks of just taking them out with the bazooka, but that would make the entire palace, hearing the noise, to come for her head. 

Instead, she draws the tranquilizer, which is not noisy and allows her to have a more clear conscience. The skins of the Oni are too thick for the darts, and so is their platemail, but the big single eye in each one is a painfully obvious weak point. The Poet aims her darts there and manages to knock all six unconscious, even though she gets grazed once by a big fireball.

Then she sneaks past some patrolling Yokai Elites and Spectral Marines, not wanting to take them on in a fair fight. She has to go straight to Shuten Doji. 

However, after she climbs some stairs, she finds herself surrounded by Ippon-Datara, the four Yokai Elites who were playing cards earlier, and a horrifying Mitsume Yazura which has three eyes, eight heads and comes from many tormented souls like an even uglier Onryoki. 

She barely has the time to draw her Naginata and try to put the Yazura out of its misery, but one of the Elites attacks with his Tachi and disarms the Poet in four moves. 

Defeated and captured, the Poet is brought in front of Shuten Doji.

"What do you want in my mountain, human?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter, Shuten Doji shows up in person! 
> 
> Did you like the fight scenes and Seimei?


	3. For the Sake of Yokai

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Nutty Poet is in the hardest position of her life, as she faces one of the most fearsome Yokai in the entire Japan! However, she must get her job done, her own sister is in great peril.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it! The final climax! A small story, but I hope it fleshes out the Nutty Poet more.

"O mighty Shuten Doji, I do not mean hostility. I am just bringing some sake because I want to honor your great name as one of the Nine Heads." 

"Why should I trust a human like you, mortal? I might not be as bright as Otakemaru or Tanamo-No-Mae, but I can learn from my past defeats. The so-called heroes your kin adores for bravely defeating me drained most of my power with a magical sake, then attacked all at once in my sleep. 

For all the talk about honor your ancestors had, they had to defeat me with trickery, cheating. They were also disguised as demons to help with the bluff. Are you here to kill me, woman?" 

"No. I can't magically enhance my drink, in fact I can't draw a healing potion or anything magical. And I don't know how the sake that drained your powers was made. This is why I am here. My sister has become a Yokai and I couldn't create a cure. I learned that only you have the drink with the cure that can make a human normal before they fully tranform."

Shuten Doji points at the magic flask. "This one, I suppose. And you are not here to kill me, you are here to get the cure."

"Correct. Even if I wanted to kill you, I know you are too strong for me."

"Wait a minute... you are that woman with the magical paintbrush. My guards told me about what you did. Explain the ice walls."

"The only spell I learned without the paintbrush, to counter my main weapon's weaknesses. Time and a place to draw."

"Acceptable. But you did not come here climbing all the mountain and defeating my patrols, did you? You used portals, which are magic. So, you might have poisoned my drink like the cowards that killed me the first time!"

"My lord!" The Poet falls on her knees. "The portals are hardly practical. It takes me twenty minutes to make one! And they basically act like doors!" 

"There is also venom that is not based on magic. Do not try to trick me!" 

And Shuten Doji gets up from his throne, chugging another bottle of sake. "Do not try to kill me!"

The Poet sees he is drunk, as he doesn't even pretend to be polite and is aggressive, and raises an ice wall. Then she paints a Naginata. However, Shuten Doji chugs one more bottle and unleashes his fiery breath. The flame is blue in color, amplified by the alcohol, and easily melts the ice wall and knocks the Poet down.

"ARGH! It hurts! It burns!"

The Poet can't even get up. She knows she has only one choice. 

"Please stop! I surrender!"

The demonic drunk raises his fist and is about to punch through her. 

"Please! Mercy!"

"Oh, that's new. A fighter no longer wanting to fight."

"I don't want to fight you in the first place! See if my bottle is indeed poisonous! Find a way!"

"Hmmm... " he points to a Yoki.

"Drink this bottle."

The Yoki chugs it all at once.

"Good. Now I want you to lift this big table."

The Yoki does so effortlessly.

"This is the deal, human. If he can keep the table up for ten minutes, since poison can need time, I will give you one more task for the cure you want and then you can get out of here. But if you try to attack me or the Yoki can no longer hold the table, you die."

As the time flows, Shuten Doji speaks to the Poet. Due to the drinks and his sense of honor, he is completely honest. "And you see this head, woman? Well, this once belonged to one of those beings known as Mary Sues. Do you know them?" 

"Yes. They want to make everything about them. I hate them. In fact, I killed one pretending to be the disciple of Seimei recently."

Shuten Doji leaves a deafening roar. "Do not mention Seimei in this palace, woman! Anyway, this Sue told me that I am a weak drunk who can't even confess his feelings to a woman. She mocked me for my drinking habit. I simply taught her her place."

The Poet chuckles. "I usually don't blame the victims, but that was very very stupid of her. There is a reason you had to be beaten by trickery."

"Good, good. I am happy you defend me." 

"I have no reason not to." 

The Yoki is still effortlessly lifting the table. 

Shuten Doji and the Poet keep talking like they are friends, though the Poet is more polite.

"And I killed a second Sue when she tried to make both me and the fox human I forbid speaking of fall for her. Sadly, I was even more drunk and left nothing for a trophy."

"Ok. Serves her right."

Six minutes have passed. The Yoki can still lift the table. No struggling at all.

"My Lord" an Elite tells Shuten Doji "what if she had just an ordinary sake?" 

"She has four more minutes. And if she tells the truth, I have one single task for her."

He turns to the Poet again. "Sadly, I did not kill anymore Sues. You have also killed some of them."

"Yes, I did. And I am proud of all Sues I killed."

"I am tempted to spare you, you know. We two share common interests and you show me respect."

"After all, I did not come to kill you." She almost says she could fight more after the first hit, just barely, but she stops. Shuten Doji won't be defeated by brawn, diplomacy is the key.

Nine minutes have passed. 

"Will you tell me about your other allies?" 

"I am currently working all alone, o mighty Shuten Doji."

"You better not bring them for reinforcements. I will tell you something. We have a lot of different drinks in this castle. One can shrink a person in size. Another can make them grow. One heals your injuries. This one can replenish your spiritual energy. This one gives invulnerability. This one is the cure for humans turned part Yokai while still alive. A living human can never become a full Yokai without the Shadow Crystals. Continuing, I also have a potion that drains someone's power. I want to have it here so I can know how such a potion is. But it's locked, and only I know how to unlock it."

Ten minutes have passed. The Yoki with the table is still standing. 

And the Poet folds her arms in smugness. "See? I never planned to kill you! In fact, I would fi..." she stops.

"You would?" 

"Nothing." 

"Fine! You want the bottle with the cure? I will ask you for a small favor. You can bring anything to life, right?" 

"Yes." 

"I want you to paint fifteen bottles of sake for me, while we are all watching. If after that you take just the cure and leave peacefully, we will leave you alone ourselves."

The Poet agrees and starts drawing bottles filled with sake inside. One by one. She finishes using her ice wall to have a better canvas, and presents all the bottles to Shuten Doji. "See, Doji, I knew I couldn't beat you in a fight. However, I know you drink too much. I used this knowledge to get the cure by simply trading part of it with some sake! Which would be hard, but due to the paintbrush, I could make as much as I want!"

She takes the cure and darts off exactly when Shuten Doji realizes how to turn it completely in his favor. 

"She could make bottles of sake every day for us! Make her stay!"

However, by then the Poet is out of the room with the cure. She has already reached the bottom floor by the time she hears guards coming after her. 

"But I didn't put any weakness poison in the bottles! Oh well." She paints a bomb and throws it near a column, destroying it and the guards who were there, slowing down the rest. 

One of the guards previously tranquilized waits for her at the door, but she raises an ice wall right under him, striking him between the legs. Then she finds the portal she made still open. "Good idea to take all of these guards out." 

And she jumps in. 

She can't believe she just escaped the palace of Shuten Doji! 

Now all she has to do is to return to her sister.

Twenty minutes later, Star Destiny, also known as the One-Horned Onryoki, is rampaging on Nara.

She smashes a building with one single punch and then roars so loudly she stuns all nearby people. She proceeds to pick up a man and is about to eat him.

However, a bullet shoots her in the back. Some policemen emerge and shoot at her. However, bullets are like mosquitoes to such a beast. She does flinch, but with one ground smash she sends two cops flying.

Then she unleashes her most powerful attack, a stream of hot plasma from her mouth, which turns all cops to charcoal. 

The Nutty Poet rushes to see the city threatened. She wonders where her friends are. 

They didn't go there already because they were unaware. The Poet wanted them to have fun and rest for a while, she trusted nobody to deal with her sister but herself.

Now, seeing the destruction, she has second thoughts about her choice. She also wonders why they didn't get there themselves. 

In reality, they were busy taking out a gang of robbers in Kyoto.

The Poet hesitates, she tries to immediately give the potion to what was once her dear sister to restore her to humanity. However, as she does so, Star Destiny swats her away.

"Fuck. Looks like I have to fight my way through this one first." 

The One-Horned Onryoki fires plasma shurikens, but the Poet dodges and fires her tranquilizer darts. She made them thicker this time because she knew they would normally be useless. Thankfully, this Yokai doesn't wear body armor, which would still block this darts. A plasma shuriken grazes her, while the darts simply slow the beast down. 

"I! SMASH! YOU!"

"Star Destiny! It's me! The Nutty Poet! Please, stop! I love you! You are my..."

She barely dodges a punch. 

"Seriously? My own sibling is harder to reason with than a brutish drunk belonging to the Nine Heads?"

She jumps to the left and avoids another strike, a left downward punch.

"Oh right. She is nearly a mindless beast now." 

She hops backwards and paints a bazooka on a wall.

"I hate to do this, but I know Yokai of this level don't die in one hit." 

She lands a direct hit to the beast, focing her on her knees. Then she draws a Naginata, which she had painted before she came to town, and leaps at her downed sister. She manages to cut her single horn off.

This staggers the big Yokai further, allowing the Poet to fire eight darts in her face. 

She forces the giant beast's mouth open and pours the green potion of humanity inside. 

Star Destiny drinks it all, but roars and recovers. 

"HOW DARE YOU? YOU WILL PAY!"

She manages to land a direct hit with her plasma shurikens. As the Poet struggles to get up, she thinks in a negative way.

"Damn... Shuten Doji tricked me. I thought that by diplomacy, I could get what I wanted. But he was drunk. He can't manipulate so well when drunk!" shd thinks. "All hope is lost. I die at the hands of you, Star Destiny... I failed. I failed to save you!"

But suddenly, the Yokai shakes and wails. She throws the Poet to the street, leaves one last roar... and it becomes a human scream in the end.

And the now human Star Destiny drops to her knees, unable to get up, with her clothes torn. 

"What happened? Where am I?" 

"It's ok. It's me, your sister. You are safe."

"This place... it looks awful!"

"I will explain later..."

Twenty minutes later, the sisters get home, with the Poet explaining what happened to Destiny.

"Sue hunting is easier said than done. Maybe, one day, I will train you so you won't have to be exposed to the worst of my job with no preparation at all.

I thought I lost you forever."

"But I nearly killed you. Why do you forgive me so easily?" 

"Because you did nothing wrong. That creature was not you. It had your body, but not your mind and soul. I blame you for nothing."

The two sisters hug each other, not wanting to let go.

"I have to leave again, Star Destiny. I have escaped Shuten Doji himself. If his forces ask me, I had to kill you and you broke the bottle with the cure. Ok?" 

"Ok."

After the Poet leaves, she plans to reunite with her team. 

"I have a lot to tell them. I hope people learn about ny story."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you like this small story? The last two confrontations? 
> 
> I made this to thank Ki_No_Shirayuki for the support, but to expand my worldbuilding as well. 
> 
> Honestly, with the ice walls, the Poet becomes a glass cannon (glass bazooka?)
> 
> I hope it's nice compensation for anyone who cares about the Poet, bc she is in a coma for Hell Hath No Fury.


End file.
